Monday, February 22, 2010

Tiger, get off my fuckin’ televison!

I don’t know about you but boy am I tired of hearing about Tiger Woods and his infidelity.  I know I know, then why am Itiger writing about it right?  Well the guy is getting more coverage on CNN than Iraq, Afghanistan, and health care reform all together.  So how can I not add my crass two cents.

First off Tiger, what kind of pussy-ass voicemail was that?  You don’t ask your mistress to delete your phone number.  You tell that bitch.  She’s the mistress, you don’t owe her an explanation, she knows her role.  She knew you were married, she knew you weren’t leaving your wife.  She was there for you to deposit your “kids”.  The mistress has low self-esteem.  Why else would she be fucking an involved man.  She’s used to being put in her place, she’s used to men walking on her.  So the only conversation should have been:

“Hey, don’t call me, shit is hot”.

That would have at least left you open for all sorts of excuses.  Now you’re fucked.  When I first heard the voicemail on a radio program on my way to work, I thought it was a spoof.  I was thinking this can’t be real.  You can’t actually be sounding that pussy.  Sure you look like a pussy but your name is Tiger!  Unleash that Tiger dude.  On second thought, unleashing the Tiger is what got you in this mess. 

One thing I cannot stand is a forced apology.  I’d rather someone not apologize than apologize because they feel obligated.  When politicians and stars have slip-ups, be it sexual, or a comment they made in public, don’t apologize for it.  Roll with it.  A fake apology is like a double fuck you in my book.  Remember when Fuzzy Zoeller speaking to reporters at a golf tournament referred to Tiger Woods as "that little boy" and urged him not to order fried chicken or collard greens for the Champions Dinner. Then went on to apologize stating his comments “were not intended to be racially derogatory”.  This is a great example of someone who should have just ran with it.  Why apologize?  African-Americans didn’t buy your apology, nor did we believe that your comment wasn’t racially motivated.  Zoeller’s apology only lost him cool points with the Klan.  So Tiger, don’t apologize, you only look more guilty.  Not to mention Tiger shouldn’t be apologizing to the public, in fact it’s none of our damn business.  I’m tired of hearing about it.  Tiger cheated, he got his ass whopped by his wife and wrecked his SUV.  It should have ended with that.  We don’t need blow-by-blow, “breaking news”, “exclusive coverage”, “this just in”, “live coverage”,  and “exclusive interviews with neighbors”.  Does the news paper really need to publish the full transcript of Tiger’s apology?  Do we really need to have a panel dissect each and every word to determine if Tiger’s apology is authentic?  WE DO NOT GIVE A FUCK! 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone cheating, but I didn’t give a shit about Tiger or golf before, so why would I care about his personal life now.  Is it necessary to interrupt my regularly scheduled programming to hear a staged apology?  I mean really.  Puffy eyes, mom in the front row?  He hugged his mother like he was a 7 year old who just got caught beating his dick in school.  I mean really, this press conference was almost as bad as Chris Brown on Larry King live.  My man had on a blue sweater and bow tie as he satchrisbrown next to his sobbing mother while he apologized to the world for beating the snot out of Rhianna.  This is what I mean by staged apology.  Maybe they really did mean their apology, but do it a normal average citizen sort of way.  Apologize, don’t wear a blue sweater and bow tie apologizing with your mother next to you.  That’s such a pussy-ass move and it really only serves to makes you look pathetic and fake.  Chris Brown would have got more respect if he said, that bitch had it coming, but I shouldn’t have resorted to physical abuse.  Tiger would have got more respect if he said, she wasn’t giving up the ass knowing I’m a millionaire, knowing I can buy the best piece of ass money can buy.  So fuck her.  She had it coming.  But I regret being caught and having my ass whopped with a golf club as well as being humiliated on national television. 

Google is becoming too powerful!


I recently read an article that asked the question:  “Is Google google-monopolygaining a monopoly on the world's information?”.  I did  not take me to long to conclude that “YES” they are!

As much as I love Google they are becoming very powerful very fast.  When Google Buzz was released, that was probably one of the first Google apps I refused to use.  When I tried it out (just by looking at other individual public updates using Google maps) I was BLOWN AWAY that I could see the exact address of someone tweeting (I mean "buzzing") in my neighborhood.  I wondered if they realized I could not only see their picture but exact location.  That's some scary stuff.  What if you said "I hate bush" and your Nazi/KKK nearby neighbor decided to seek revenge.  What if a child was buzzing to his other friends "I'm home alone, parents are gone, time to play COD MW2".  Now the pedophile in your area sees this and his address and decides to go "play" with the child too.  That was extremely disturbing.  Add the fact that these options were AUTOMATICALLY enabled and it's clear that even Google is prone to making mistakes. 

So what happens when a mistake releases all that information stored on Google servers about an individual?  What happens when Google gets hacked?  Notice I said “when” and not “if”.  Google has already received publicity recently for being hacked by the Chinese.  Have you Googled your name lately?  You'd be surprised what you will find.  I actually use an Internet alias online at all times just to prevent this sort of privacy invasion.  When I Googled my name and found my home purchase, cost paid, exact address, law suits I've filed, posts made to forums, wedding registry complete with marriage date, I said it was time to make some changes. 

With the amount of information Google has, they're becoming extremely dangerous.  People keep saying "if you don't have anything to hide what's the big deal".  Well I do have plenty to hide!  God forbid my mistress find me and tell me those kids are in fact mine!  Joking.  But seriously, I don't need people to know what car I drive, drove, previous addresses, previous last name, etc.

Here's a great example.  Ever since I could remember there was this guy in LOVE with my mother.  He stalked her constantly.  He wasn't dangerous, he was just crazy in love with my mom who was never interested in him.  As years went on he always managed to find us.  We would eventually get a card in the mail, flowers, etc.  Regardless of where we lived.  Just last year this guy friend requests me on Facebook!  What the fuck?  Take it one step further, I had my last name changed 4 years prior to him finding me on Facebook which is set to private, so how did he do it?  I am positive Google had something to do with it.

I don’t think the average person realizes that Google isn’t just a search engine.  They aren’t just a free email provider.  They’re an advertising company who harvests personal information from Gmail, Google Voice, Picassa, Google Android handsets, and pretty much every service they provide you with for free.  Information is great but there has to be concern for privacy when it comes to individuals.  Google needs some regulation in their life.