Thursday, October 1, 2009

Concerned University students have taken issue with roommates having sex in dorm. New “anti-sexiling” policy in effect.

What a bunch of whiney cunts.  Of course we all know who these “concerned students” are don’t we?  Yep.  Those are the image cock-blocking whistle blowers who’s pants are a little too high, glasses a little too thick, and breath a little too rank to really want to converse with.  Unfortunately you got stuck sharing a dorm room with them, and apparently the panting going on in your half of the dorm room is affecting your roommates Harry Potter marathon.

Ok, here’s the issue.  Tufts University’s 2009-2010 student handbook has implemented a new policy that prohibits students from engaging in sexual activities while a roommate is present.  In addition, roommates are also prohibited from “sexiling” (much like exiling) a roommate for the purposes of engaging in a little skin slapping action.  More specifically "You may not engage in sexual activity while your roommate is present in the room.  And sexual activity within your assigned room should not ever deprive your roommate(s) of privacy, study, or sleep time.” 

No wonder I only went to college 6 months. My idea of a college dorm would mean not only will I be fucking in my dorm room on  a regular basis regardless of who’s present, hell I might even turn that mutha into a train.  My roommate and I could run an Amtrak  for all I care.  In fact I’d be telling my roommate to invite his fuck of the week and we' could play a game of musical chairs, freak edition.  Isn’t that the only reasons people go to college?  Oh yeah that and the parties. 

Callie Morton, a freshman at Tufts, told CNN affiliate WHDH-TV, "If someone is going to go and have sex while their roommate is in the room, I mean I think that's kind of gross. I think it's kind of funny that they would have to make a rule about it."  Aw come on!  Are you kidding me.  Did she say “gross”?  How old are we?  I’ll guarantee you that bitch is the one who anonymously suggested the rule.  I can see right through her bullshit act.

Oh my how times have changed.  Damn those Republican Conservatives.  They’ve even managed to infiltrate the dorm rooms of America!  You can’t even bust a stressed-filled final exams nut to help you concentrate without first checking in with your cock-blockin’, eagle scout, roommate.  Whatever happened to the sock or rag on the door handle trick?  Whatever happened to saying “hey, tonight this BAD chic from the party last night is coming over, chances are I’m going to be bangin’ her back out…so call me before you head home if I don’t answer, you know what’s up.”  Now we have to get school officials involved.  It’s a say day America.  I think a demonstration is called for.  Horny college students, I urge you to have a sit-in fuck-in at your RA’s room. 


  1. LMFAO! wow Im glad im out of school and out of dorms because this rule may go into effect in a lot of schools. I used to do shit like that all the damn time!

  2. about cock blockin'

  3. ROFL! What a great post! Man, I think you really captured this, with wit and humor while still making a point.

    I have to disagree on your remarks about conservative republicans, though. I think the problem here is just people who just can't get laid. I mean, would you do the tube steak shuffle with Hillary while she was in school? I mean, she was a major hurl-a-thon just to look at. There are a lot of Democratic Geeks who just can't get a piece of ass (male or female) and then moan over the plight of Columbian Coffe Pickers. C'mon, that never slips anyone into the two-backed beast.

    Again, great blog! I really like it.

    And, so why doesn't a smart guy like you have a degree in English Lit. or Computer Science? I mean, you could always attend remotely. Frankly, it took me 13 years to get my B.A., because of the same things you're talking about.'re too smart to be walking around without some letters after your name.